What Every Body is Saying Book Summary
An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Speed-Reading People
Book by Joe Navarro
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Summary
"What Every Body is Saying" unlocks the secrets of nonverbal communication, teaching you to decode the hidden messages in every gesture, expression, and movement, so you can interact with confidence, detect deceit, and build stronger relationships in all areas of life.
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The Honest Feet and Legs
The feet and legs are the most honest part of the body because they react instantly and subconsciously to situations. Since the legs have been critical to human survival by enabling us to run from predators, the limbic brain carefully controls their actions. When people feel uncomfortable, their feet will point away, withdraw, or kick. When they are comfortable, their legs will mirror the other person's posture or point towards them. Paying attention to changes in foot and leg behavior provides key insights into a person's state of mind.
Section: 1, Chapter: 1
Observing Nonverbals in Context is Key
To accurately interpret nonverbal cues, always consider the context in which they occur. The same behavior can mean different things in different situations. For example:
- Crossed arms might indicate discomfort and defensiveness during a tense negotiation, but may simply show a relaxed posture while casually conversing with a friend.
- Lip compression can reveal stress or disapproval when discussing an unpleasant topic, but might just result from concentration while solving a challenging problem. Evaluating cues in light of the circumstances and looking for sudden changes in behavior will enable you to decipher their true meaning. Don't jump to conclusions based on a single tell.
Section: 1, Chapter: 1
Establish a Nonverbal Baseline
To detect meaningful changes in a person's body language, first establish their normal behavioral patterns - their baseline. Observe how they typically use their hands, hold their body, react to stress, etc. Then watch for deviations from this baseline as your interaction unfolds.
For instance, if someone is generally still but suddenly starts fidgeting and tapping their foot after you ask them a question, this abrupt change indicates the topic makes them uncomfortable and bears further exploration. Without having gauged their usual mannerisms, you may miss or misinterpret such telling behavioral shifts. Strive to identify a person's baseline behaviors early in your encounters.
Section: 1, Chapter: 1
The Honest Brain
Of the three "brains" in the head - the neocortex (thinking brain), limbic (emotional brain), and reptilian (stem brain) - the limbic system is the most honest. As the seat of emotions, the limbic brain reacts instantly and subconsciously to perceived threats, controlling the body's built-in survival mechanisms:
- Freeze: Becoming still to avoid detection by predators
- Flight: Distancing from danger through physical or psychological withdrawal
- Fight: Aggressive response when unable to escape
These reflexes produce nonverbal tells that reflect a person's true feelings. While the neocortex censors speech, it has less control over limbic impulses revealed through body language. The limbic brain and its reactions never lie.
Section: 1, Chapter: 2
Pacifying Behaviors Relieve Stress
Stressful events prompt the brain to soothe itself through pacifying behaviors - physical actions that stimulate nerve endings and release calming endorphins. Pacification manifests in self-touching behaviors like:
- Neck stroking
- Nose touching
- Lip pursing or biting
- Rubbing the forehead
- Face touching
- Exhaling deeply
- Leg cleansing
The greater a person's stress, the more actively and frequently they pacify. By learning to recognize pacification displays, you can gauge someone's anxiety level and identify the stressors that provoke it.
Section: 1, Chapter: 2
Spot Liars by Watching for Pacifiers
People typically pacify after being asked a troubling question or hearing information they dislike. Pacifying behaviors often indicate a person feels threatened because:
- They are lying and fear getting caught
- They have done something wrong and feel guilty
- The topic elicits unpleasant thoughts or memories
While normal nervousness also prompts pacification, if you see sudden pacifying directly after someone answers a question, you need to dig deeper. But use caution - while pacification suggests uneasiness, it doesn't automatically mean dishonesty.
Section: 1, Chapter: 2
Knee Clasp Reveals Intention to Leave
During a meeting Juan, a project manager, asked his team for feedback on a challenging stage of their work. One employee, Emily, began expressing concerns about the approach. As she spoke, Juan noticed the other team members placing both hands on their knees in a "knee clasp."
This posture, often seen in interviews and sales calls, shows an intent to end the conversation and leave. Recognizing his team's restlessness, Juan wrapped up the meeting quickly, promising to consider Emily's issues later. By reading this subtle "intention cue," he prevented the discussion from extending too long and losing his team's attention. The knee clasp avoided an awkwardly long meeting.
Section: 1, Chapter: 3
Gravity-Defying Behaviors Signal Positivity
When feeling upbeat and excited, people exhibit "gravity-defying" nonverbals - body language that has a bouncy, rising quality. Positive emotional states cause us to defy gravity by:
- Walking with a spring in our step
- Gesturing upwards as we speak
- Rising up on the balls of our feet
- Sitting forward in our seat
- Raising our eyebrows
Gravity-defying cues signal happiness and confidence. When you see them suddenly appear in a person's demeanor, especially after something you said or did, you can feel assured your actions pleased them. The notable absence of these behaviors reveals low mood or self-esteem.
Section: 1, Chapter: 3
Territorial Leg Splay Claims Dominance
In moments of tension or disagreement, people will often splay their legs wide apart and firmly plant their feet to establish a dominant, authoritative stance. This "territorial display" communicates they feel challenged and intend to stand their ground.
When arguing with someone, look for this aggressive leg posture. You may need to back off or change your approach to avoid escalating the conflict. In any case, recognize the splay reveals the depth of the person's anger and conviction.
Use this tell to gauge their emotions accurately. If you're the one guilty of leg splaying, be aware it may alienate people. Adopt a more neutral posture to keep tensions from rising.
Section: 1, Chapter: 3
The Honest Torso Reveals True Feelings
Like the legs, the torso is controlled more by the limbic brain than the thinking brain, making it an honest source of nonverbal cues. The torso houses vital organs, so the limbic brain instinctively shields it in threatening situations by:
- Leaning away from perceived threats
- Crossing the arms to block access to the body
- Hunching the shoulders to protect the neck
- Splaying the arms to appear larger and more dominant
These automatic responses telegraph a person's discomfort, defensiveness, or disdain, even as their words say otherwise. The limbic brain's priority to protect the torso will override less honest facial expressions and verbal statements. The torso's tells are some of the most reliable.
Section: 1, Chapter: 4
Detect Disengagement with Torso Shields
If a person's torso and feet orient away from you while talking, they likely feel disinterested or want to leave the conversation. Even if their face remains friendly, this "torso shielding" indicates psychological disengagement. Other distancing cues include:
- Crossing arms tightly
- Holding objects in front of chest
- Twisting torso to angle body away
- Placing barriers like a purse or pillow on lap
When you notice someone progressively shutting you out with their body language, gracefully end the interaction before they tune out completely. And if you catch yourself torso shielding, consider what's causing your discomfort and how you can reengage.
Section: 1, Chapter: 4
Chest Puffing and Shoulder Squaring Show Dominance
When people feel confident or aggressive, they make their upper body appear larger to maximize the appearance of strength and dominance. Look for:
- Chest puffed outwards
- Shoulders squared
- Head tilted back
- Hands on hips or hooked in belt loops
- Expansive, sprawling posture
Section: 1, Chapter: 4
Reach Out with Open Arms
When talking with others, pay attention to their arm positions. Arms that hang loose at the sides show openness and comfort, while crossed or tense arms signal defensiveness. To encourage a positive interaction:
- Keep your own arms relaxed and visible, not crossed
- Angle your torso towards the other person with arms slightly away from your body
- Use open-palm gestures when speaking
- If sitting, rest your arms on the armrests or table, not your lap
This "open arm" posture demonstrates friendliness, confidence, and sincerity. It reassures others you have nothing to hide. Closed-off arm positions, in contrast, convey insecurity or secrecy. Use the "open arm test" to gauge the other person's comfort level - and your own.
Section: 1, Chapter: 5
Spot Territorial Displays in Arm Positioning
During a boardroom negotiation, two executives, Jack and Ava, debate a contentious point in the contract. As Ava defends her position, Jack slowly moves his arms from his sides onto the armrests, then inches them outward until his elbows jut into Ava's space.
Jack's "territorial display" attempts to intimidate Ava and assert dominance over the discussion. If Ava mirrors his pose, it could escalate the argument. Instead, she keeps her arms in a neutral position while calmly reiterating her points. Noting Jack's aggressive stance, the room reads his behavior as overbearing and sides with Ava in the end. Jack's arm posturing backfired.
Section: 1, Chapter: 5
The Hands Never Lie
"Our brain focuses so much attention on the hands and fingers that no other species has appendages with such a remarkable range of capabilities. That is why the hands may be our most powerful tools for understanding the thoughts and feelings of others. They serve as the most reliable nonverbal cues to deciphering what the brain is processing, feeling, or intending."
Section: 1, Chapter: 6
Steepling Shows Supreme Confidence
Steepling - touching the tips of spread fingers together like a church steeple - is one of the most powerful high-confidence tells. People will often steeple after making an important point or when feeling self-assured. The height of the hands indicates the degree of confidence:
- Steepling over the head shows supreme confidence bordering on arrogance
- Steepling at chest level indicates a strong sense of self-assurance and authority
- Steepling at waist level, more common for women, demonstrates quiet self-esteem
- Watch for changes in steepling behavior to gauge a person's fluctuating confidence levels.
Section: 1, Chapter: 6
Hand-Mind Mismatch Reveals Discomfort
Our hands reflect our inner state by automatically moving in sync with our thoughts and feelings. When words and gestures align, it shows congruence and authenticity. But when the hands contradict the message, it signals dissonance and possible dishonesty.
If someone makes a bold claim like "I'm certain about this" while wringing their hands or fidgeting, their words and body language don't match. This hand-mind disparity reveals doubt, no matter how much bravado they project verbally. Before accepting such statements at face value, probe further to uncover the source of their inconsistency. If your own hands undercut your point, acknowledge the disconnect to restore credibility.
Section: 1, Chapter: 6
The Face Reveals All
The human face is exceptionally expressive, capable of conveying countless emotions through slight muscle movements. Key indicators include:
- Pupil dilation: Pupils widen when we see something exciting or attractive
- Lip compression: Pressing the lips together tightly signals anger, frustration or disapproval
- Nasal wing dilation: Flaring nostrils indicate arousal, irritation or intense concentration
- Furrowed forehead: Lowered and pinched brows show confusion, worry or distress
- Smiles: Genuine smiles crinkle the eyes, while fake smiles only move the mouth
Section: 1, Chapter: 7
Good and Bad Faces: Spotting Danger and Delight
We all know a bright smile and twinkling eyes indicate happiness. But what do negative facial cues look like? Watch for:
- Tightened jaw muscles: A clenched jaw signals stress, anger or disapproval. Often the lips will also compress or purse.
- Eyebrow furrowing: When the brows lower and draw together, it shows concern, confusion or concentration. The more intense the furrowing, the stronger the emotion.
- Squinting: Narrowed eyes indicate suspicion, doubt or dislike. We instinctively squint at things that bother us.
- If you observe these facial tells repeatedly in an interaction, explore what's causing the person's distress. Don't ignore the warning signs etched in their features.
Section: 1, Chapter: 7
Why Spotting Lies is Harder Than You Think
Unlike popular TV shows, detecting deception based on body language is extremely difficult in real life. Research shows even experienced professionals like police officers, judges and CIA agents are only slightly better than chance at identifying lies. Why?
- There is no single "lying tell" - liars exhibit a wide range of behaviors
- Nervousness and stress can cause the same nonverbals in truth-tellers
- Skilled liars know how to suppress or disguise indicators of deceit
- Most people overestimate their lie detection abilities and jump to faulty conclusions
- Rather than looking for one "gotcha" cue, deception experts suggest assessing clusters of verbal and nonverbal patterns over time. Even then, the most accurate techniques are only 65-90% effective.
Section: 1, Chapter: 8
Focus on Comfort and Discomfort, Not Lies
When judging someone's truthfulness, look for changes in their comfort level rather than specific "deception tells." Your goal is to determine their psychological state - relaxed or stressed, confident or doubtful, open or closed-off. Changes in comfort often indicate a shift in truthfulness, such as:
- Sudden tension when asked a sensitive question (squirming, avoiding eye contact)
- Qualifying statements or distancing language ("to be honest," "as far as I know")
- Lack of detail or unwillingness to commit ("it's possible," "I'm not sure but")
- Fidgeting, picking lint, playing with hair or jewelry
- Freezing in place or sharply limiting movements
- Grooming behaviors like adjusting clothes or smoothing hair
- The key is establishing their comfort baseline, then watching for deviations as the interaction unfolds
Section: 1, Chapter: 8
The Best Way to Get the Truth? Build Rapport
Rather than becoming a walking polygraph, focus on creating an environment conducive to honest communication. When people feel at ease, they're more likely to open up and reveal critical information - even if it's unflattering or incriminating. To encourage truthfulness:
- Make the person feel heard and respected
- Ask open-ended questions that invite explanation
- Avoid accusations or interrogation tactics that put them on the defensive
- Mirror their positive body language to build "liking"
- Paraphrase their statements to show you're listening
Give them space to clarify or correct your understanding The more comfortable a person feels with you, the less they'll feel the need to deceive or omit. Building rapport is the surest way to reach the truth, even if it takes time.
Section: 1, Chapter: 8
The Power of Observation
"Observation is a skill that must be developed, honed and practiced - constantly. We don't come into this world as natural observers... But with training and practice, our observation of the world can become so powerful that we are able to see and sense things, not only about others but about ourselves, that untrained individuals will never recognize in a million years."
Section: 1, Chapter: 9
Putting It All Together
To master nonverbal communication, you must observe the entire body as an interconnected system. While certain tells are more reliable than others (feet over face), every part contributes to the overall message. Your goal is synthesizing these signals into a cohesive assessment by:
- Establishing a baseline: What is this person's "normal"?
- Looking for changes: When and why do they deviate from baseline?
- Considering the context: What situational factors are influencing them?
- Filtering for noise: Are their behaviors consistent or contradictory?
- Staying objective: What story does the data tell, without assumptions?
Section: 1, Chapter: 9
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